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tommy2tones
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Name: Tom
Gender: Male
Interests: Reading, watching movies, memorizing useless trivia, theatre, radio, baseball, hiking, camping, hanging out with friends, eating, sleeping, Portland-Oregon, learning, and a whole slew of other activities.
Expertise: I don't think I'll ever be able to say I have enough expertise at something to say that I'm an expert.
Occupation: Teacher, Actor, Author
Industry: Education/Research/Entertainme
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/12/2004
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| "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love." I Cor. 13:13a.
This evening I went to a visitation service for one of my former teachers, a man who had a huge influence upon me; he cast me in my first play ever. My Dad died just over a month ago and, as I expected, as I try to adjust to life without him around, the real trial begins. I have good friend who's father had a heart attack about a week ago and my friend has spent over week watching his father repeatedly being tortured unproductively as medical officials attempt to force his father to begin breathing on his own. There's a lot of pain and suffering in this world. We are all in a crucible.
Yet, despite the storms and fires of testing, hope remains. As a younger person, hope was something I knew in my heart of hearts was good, but I really had no understanding or idea what it was or why it was good. I remember watching THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION for the first time and hearing the line, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." When I heard that I agreed with it and knew it was true, but I didn't really know why because I really didn't know what hope is. I have a much better understanding now.
This world is a mean and messed-up place. There's pain, sorrow, and suffering all around. But that's not all there is. There is love. There is joy. There is peace. And there is hope. Even amidst the fires of testing in the crucible, hope remains.
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| Three months ago I was having dinner with my Grandma. It was a few weeks after she had seen one of my performances in one of the musicals I was in this summer. We were talking about the show she had seen, what she enjoyed, and what she thought of my performance. During this conversation my Grandma made the comment, “You should look into that Christian theme park in Florida. I saw an ad on tv and they were looking for actors a couple months ago. You’re really good.” This comment might not seem like much but coming from my Grandma to me, this comment was huge. I’ve known since I was in the first grade that I wanted to be an actor. That’s when I was cast in my first show. Since that time I’ve struggled with my desires and the gifts I have, and tempering those with other conflicting interests I have, as well with trying to remain a “productive” member of society. It’s not easy. It’s been a long journey for me and though I’ve taken a few detours, I have no regrets. I know who I am and though I can’t see the specifics and things rarely turn out as I expect, I have a general direction of where I’m headed. To the standards of the world, it might not seem like much, but for me it is enough. Along this journey there have been a great many people who have stood in the way. Most of these people are loving family members and friends who just can’t understand me or the path I’m following. I don’t exactly fit any patterns or stereotypes very well and this confuses them. Over time, most of these people have come around to an understanding or at least an acceptance of the path I’m on. Until that night at dinner, my Grandma was not one of those people. She knew about my desires to entertain, knew I was talented, knew acting, or writing and now directing, were something that provided me great joy and fulfillment. However, to her it didn’t seem to make any sense that a person would want to do those things as opposed to “living a normal life”. That night at dinner I realized that my Grandma had finally come around. It took years, but after the umpteenth show she saw, I guess she finally realized that I had what it takes given the opportunity I might one day succeed at it, even according to the standards of the world. That meant the world to me. I’m not exactly where I’m headed, but that’s okay. The tortoise beat the hare by being slow and steady and it took almost fifty years but Charlie Brown eventually did hit a homerun. I’m just going to keep plugging away and taking advantage of those opportunities when they present themselves. Until then, the actor prepares and the writer writes. | | |
| There is a weariness that affects one’s heart and soul that is more draining to oneself than any illness, unhealthy diet, or lack of sleep can cause. ‘Tis a weariness that sucks the marrow of life right from one’s bones without a person even recognizing it. Today I have felt that weariness. The challenges that faced me were many. Burdens too heavy for one to bear. Expectations unable to live up to and meet. Matters of the heart gone wrong. Longings that never seem to be filled. Confrontations against injustice. Missing my Dad. All of this and more is what my morning contained and it was too much. There was a pain in my heart and soul that just wouldn’t stop aching and with each passing moment the aching intensified. Darkness threatened to sweep over me and I wrestled with the darkness to gain control. Too much, too much, except for the prayers of the saints. They were with me today. The prayers of the saints lifted me. They carried me to safety. I see dark clouds coming. I know there are many storms, tests, and challenges yet to face, but I can stand with a bit more confidence now because of the prayers of the saints. | | |
| "Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings."
--Robert Benchley | | |
| I’m tired of the idiocy and banality that surrounds me at work. I was sitting at my desk this morning and overheard a conversation between two co-workers. One woman was complaining to the other about snakes and how she hated snakes and wished that all snakes were dead. As soon as she finished ranting about how evil snakes are she then told a story about a mouse that was running around her kitchen counter this weekend. She started to complain about how disgusting mice were, how they carried diseases, and how she wished that all mice were dead. I wanted to stand up and tell her, “You idiot, don’t you know snakes eat mice!” Instead I sat quietly and wept inside. I really need to find a new job. | | |
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